Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I Think I'm Losing It

When I decided to go back to school, I wasn't really worried. I figured I would have all day to do what I needed to and life would be good. Yeah, right! Now, in addition to playing dad when Eric is out of town (which he has been quite a bit lately), helping the kids with homework and special projects, doing laundry and housework, and playing taxi, I get to do my own homework and study for my own tests. Needless to say, I've been a bit stressed out and overwhelmed lately. I know it's life and that this phase will pass, but right now, I sometimes wonder what I was thinking.

As luck would have it, I ended up getting stuck with a survey type math class, (which encompasses algebra, geometry, and other yucky stuff) as my first class! Math is bad enough for me when I'm learning it in a classroom setting, but it's a whole 'nother ballgame when I am having to essentially teach myself. Fortunately, I am almost done with one math class and have only one more to go. Thanks to my brother-in-law, who lives all the way in California, I may just be able to pull it off. I love my brother-in-law!

Don't get me wrong, even though I think I'm losing it sometimes, there is a silver lining. One of the upsides to my current situation is that, now that we have lived in Alaska for close to two years, I actually have some very good friends I can rely on to pick up some of the pieces for me. I finally feel like it's not just Eric and I against the world. I have friends to go to the gym with, friends to drink and have dinner with, friends to shop with, friends who rely on me to help them out in a pinch, and friends I can rely on to help us out in a pinch. In that aspect, life is good!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Hiatus Is Over

After a long hiatus and a little soul searching with regard to whether or not I should continue with this blog, I am back in action. I had a severe case of writer's block over the summer and quite frankly, my life just isn't all that exciting on a daily basis. Friends and family have asked about the blog from time to time and have wanted me to continue posting, but it started to feel more like work than like fun. I suppose I just needed a little time to reflect, refresh and regroup.

So, here I am, the kids are back in school (Logan is in 7th grade and Kaiden is in 5th) and so am I. Yep, you read that correctly! After many years of talking about it, I have finally decided to go back to school to finish my degree. After doing a ton of research on universities, I decided to take the non-traditional approach. I am attending the only accredited, fully-online university in the country. It is based out of Utah and is called Western Governors University. Not only is the learning structure non-traditional, but the tuition structure is as well. By attending WGU, I should have my degree faster than I would in a traditional program and I will save thousands of dollars. I started school on September 1 and someday, when I'm done, I'll have a Bachelors Degree in Inter-Disciplinary Studies. In a nutshell, I'll be able to teach if I want to. I am excited to be back in school, but overwhelmed as well. I know I'll be fine, I just have to figure things out and get into the groove.

I can't believe we have been in Alaska almost two years! The time hasn't always flown by, but I still can't believe it will be two years in December. I also can't believe that I am already stressing out about Christmas! I have spent many evenings recently on the computer, pouring over the Alaska Airlines website, stressing out about how I can please everyone during the holidays without going broke in the process (and I'm not even referring to gift giving). There are some amazing advantages to living in Alaska, but air travel is not one of them. I am finding it incredibly difficult to justify using thousands of frequent flyer miles and still paying $1000+ to get the four of us to Southern California for the holidays. On one hand, it wouldn't be bad staying here for a White Christmas, but I don't know if I could deal with the guilt. The family isn't pressuring us (they don't have to, the pressure is inherently there), but I'm still overwhelmed by the whole notion. We have the only two grandkids on Eric's side of the family and the only other grandchild on my side of the family is just over a year old. Since the boys have been old enough to "get" Christmas, the family aspect of the holiday has always been an awful lot about them. I feel like if we aren't with the family for the holidays I have single-handedly robbed both sets of parents of that joy. Let me tell you, that's A LOT of pressure for one girl to take!!!!!

As I'm sure you've gathered from reading this, unless you have a ton of money, you've lived here your whole life and/or your family is here, life in Alaska doesn't really get easier. Aspects of life certainly get easier (I now have a great support system, some wonderful friends, a Kohls, and the third Target in the state, opening near us soon), but there are constantly new and different challenges. I know Eric, the boys and I are better for our experiences here, but it certainly isn't always a day on the river fishing!