The Evolution of Kids

Logan's 11th birthday was on September 20 and it has kind of put me in a reflective mood. Not necessarily just about him, but about both of my kids and kind of just about my life in general. It's interesting to me to think about the way I thought my life, children and family would be like before I had a husband and kids. I don't know that my life has varied from my "script" too drastically, but there has been a different turn here or there. Today, I though I'd share some of my thoughts about my kids.

Before I had two children, I used to always hear people say that their kids "are all so different". I was the type who would hear those words, take them in, and think I understood them. Then, I had two children and I quickly understood first hand what all of those women were talking about. It never ceases to amaze me how two boys from the same parents can be so totally different from one another.


Our boys are 20 months apart in age. When we only had Logan, people would tells us how much he resembled his father in appearance (although my baby pictures tell a different story). If, when I was pregnant, you had asked me what I thought my kids would look like I would have described Logan to a "t". When he arrived, he was chubby with very little white hair, hazel eyes, and fair skin. Then I had Kaiden, though he looked like his father, they could have told me there had been a mix-up in the nursery and I would have believed them. He had dark hair, dark eyes, and an olive complexion. Whose baby was this anyway? Obviously my husbands! Even though my children's physical differences were obvious at birth, over time, they continue to break each others mold.

You see, Logan was perfect by baby standards. He slept through the night at some crazy early age, he never cried, etc. When Logan was a toddler things shifted a bit. He was extremely strong-willed and was full of energy. I can't tell you how many tears I shed and books I read on "strong-willed children", in an attempt to reign him in. Now, in hindsight, maybe I should have been less concerned. At eleven, Logan is once again my mellow, layed back, authority pleasing child. He is very well liked by his peers, he does extremely well in school (because it's expected and he doesn't have to really apply himself to get good grades), and he keeps his emotions in check almost to a fault.

Then there's our dear Kaiden. That kid has always, and continues to, give us a run for the money on a daily basis. Kaiden didn't sleep through the night until he was three and he cried incessantly for a very long time. Mom was his only comfort and if I wasn't around, there was hell to pay! The funny thing is, when he was a toddler, Kaiden was our easy one, he was so mellow and very introverted. We thought for sure he was going to be the easier kid as he got older. So much for perception!!!!!! Kaiden is still a pretty emotional kid, but I certainly would not classify him as and introvert these days. He talks non-stop and would play outside with his friends, roaming the neighborhood 24/7 with his skateboard, bike, and scooter if I'd let him. Although my son is incredibly intelligent, he could really careless about his grades. Hey, as long as he gets a C he thinks he's doing alright (ARGH!!!!). Oh yes, and the best part about our dear Kaiden is that NOTHING is ever his fault. He has become a master at trying to twist things so that it becomes clear to the world that even though he did something inappropriate it wasn't really his fault. How can you not love this kid????

My husband and my in-laws will tell you that aside from Eric's looks, Kaiden is all me. The hard truth is, they're probably right. I was a difficult child for my parents (as far as behavior goes at home), but outside of the home, I was a great kid. Kaiden seems to be much the same way. Fortunately as an adult, I still have some of the same qualities I did as a kid, but I have learned how to channel them differently. Hopefully Kaiden will learn to do the same. Don't get me wrong, I don't think for a minute that Logan will always be fun and games. I'm sure he'll regress back to his toddler days at some point and will be a handful again, but until then, we'll count our lucky stars.

I guess my point in all this is that it's amazing how much your children change and how their personalities continue to evolve over time. I've always said that I can't have a "favorite" because my kids fall in and out of favor with us on almost a moment by moment basis. We have come to terms with the fact that both of our children are a special blessing to us for very different reasons. Although Logan tends to be the easier kid, life would certainly be less eventful if we didn't have Kaiden. Even if it's easier to focus on the negative traits from time to time, we would never trade either of our kids. They have both brought something very different, special, and fulfilling to our lives.